EMpower or OVERpower

These self-portraits were created by at-risk teens living in residential care. Before beginning each teen made two lists, one of what EMpowered them, and one of what OVERpowered them. The teens then drew self-portraits that captured both lists. They were encouraged to focus on their inner being rather than physical appearance. Once the self-portraits were complete, they wrote narratives sharing the meaning of what they had drawn.

Lena, age 15

I have my happy, jolly self and my hidden self which no one knows. I look like I am smiling but one side of my smile is drooping. It’s hard to keep on that “happy face”. There is a big tear falling from one eye because sometimes the sadness is too much to keep in. The chains and shackles of my past hold me down. Thorny vines are growing around me because for a long time I wasn’t getting anywhere. My life was wrapped in despair. On one side my sleeve has heart cut outs. This shows my loving side. I am a very loving person. The other side has tear shaped cut outs showing my sadness and depression. The moon represents my stressful and depressing past. Lying in my bed at night the bad memories come back. The moon is glowing and there are stars in the sky because I have hope that one day those bad memories won’t haunt me anymore. Some memories are more painful and harder to break. Those memories are the chains, but they are beginning to fade. Slowly I am breaking free and growing. The sun shows that sometimes I am radiant. I have joy and hope that I will graduate. The butterfly book shows my growth in knowledge. Knowledge that will help me succeed. The flowers show that I am beginning to flourish and prosper. The palm tree shows my desire for peace.

Jonathan, age 14

My behavior is completely different depending on which parent I live with. My dad has not been a positive influence in my life. When I lived with him things quickly got worse. The fire in my eyes shows how the bad influence of my dad altered my view. Wrong became right and right became wrong. My dad hasn’t been there for me. At times he tried to be a good influence, but he really doesn’t know how to be a parent. He learned a lot of bad habits in his childhood. His dad wasn’t there for him either. Not having a dad I can depend on has left a sense of emptiness in my life. The swirling clock represents how time has gone by so quickly. My childhood will be over soon. I get very depressed because now I realize my dad is never going to be the father I wanted and needed. Sometimes I get very angry. In the past I couldn’t control my anger and I did destructive, hateful things. Now when I get angry, I can control it. Choosing to control my anger does not mean I am weak or afraid. I get aggravated when others think this control is weakness or fear. 734 is my dad’s area code. So many times when I called him the phone just rang and rang. He almost never answered. One time he didn’t even recognize my voice and asked who I was. Seeing those area code numbers brings back a flood of emotions. Sadness fills my heart. My mom is the light in my life. She shows her love in so many ways. Cooking for me is one of my favorite ways. Whenever I am sad or upset, she makes me empanadillas. My mom understands me better than I understand myself. She holds the key to my emotions. She knows when I am worried, sad, or depressed. She senses my feelings when I am quiet and gets me to talk about what is bothering me. She helps me understand my dad’s actions. My mom has a strong faith. She couldn’t have raised me without God’s help. It was not easy for her to raise me. The purple half of the cross represent how she teaches me about Christ through her example. The other half of the cross is the hole that is still there from my dad. It is dark and stormy. I am hoping with the help of my mom and others I can fill that void with God the Father.

Jadyn, age 13

There is an explosion coming out of my head. Sometimes I feel like my head might burst from all the thoughts inside. I can never turn the stressful thoughts off. The F F F stands for Fear, Failure and Future. I am afraid of failure because that could affect my future success. My biggest fear is school. If I don’t do well in school, I am afraid my future will be a failure. School is hard, so this worry hangs over me every day. The cloud inside the explosion represents my hopes and dreams. My dream is to become a therapist for special needs children. My hair looks like fire because of all the lies and hateful things people have said to me. The band-aids on my face are for my past pain and insecurities. I hide them and don’t share them with anyone. A board is covering my mouth because I don’t tell anyone the whole truth. I hide the truth to protect others. Keeping all the truth, that needs to be told, inside my head is painful. I wake up at night. So many thoughts fill my mind. They go around and around with no answers to all the questions. The board has nails. I am looking for the tools to take it off. The cross necklace is being pulled from my heart. This shows that my faith in God is not firm. The stars represent the people I love. They are always with me in spirit. My shirt has a camouflage print. My brother is going into the military. I worry about him and hope he will stay safe.

Ben, age 16

I made my face an egg because I keep my thoughts and anger inside my head. As more and more thoughts and anger pile up in there, my head starts to crack. The small cracks represent the confused thoughts trying to break out and find answers. I am like Humpty Dumpty sitting on the wall. I feel like I am about to fall off and break. Repairing such a big crack would take some time, and so I hang on tight. The rainbow crack leading up to the locked and chained box is my hope. Hope that one day I’ll have the courage to find the key, that I already have, and open that locked box. Then I could sort through the good and bad that are inside, keeping the good and throwing away the bad. The small yellow, in the top left corner, represents my mom. She is far away now. That tiny peck of light shows that I still have a little hope that she can change over time and that I will be able to see her again. The glow behind my egg-head represents the positive thoughts I am sending to her. I live with my dad now. I feel safe there, but I miss my brothers and sisters. I worry about them because I don’t know where most of them have gone. My dad is in the center of the group at the bottom left of my portrait. He is surrounded by the brothers and sisters that I hope to one day see again. Music makes me calm. It is also my hobby. I enjoy making music on Garage Band. I can get lost in the music and not worry about anything. I hope to keep music in my life and possibly have a career in music. The rainbow at the bottom right shows my desire to have a peaceful life. I’ve had more than enough chaos. I am not sure I can find happiness.

Antonio, age 17

My vision of my future is clouded by uncertainty. Uncertainty about where my life is going. I am tired of school. I am frustrated with school. It is so hard and feels overwhelming, but I have to keep going for my family. They are depending on me to succeed and set the example. There is a lot of pressure. The expectations set for me feel so high. I worry I won’t succeed. I often think about running away, running away from all of my problems and starting over. I care about those I love. I want to help everyone but it’s not time yet. My life is too unsettled, my future too unknown. The scar on my face shows that I have been hurt. Loneliness causes me pain. The hurt continues. I wonder if it will ever go away. I have a sense of longing, but I am not sure what I am longing for. I feel anxious. The sun represents positive thoughts. I try to think positive thoughts when negative thoughts creep in. Like the sun, my positive thoughts are powerful. They keep me going when things get stressful. When I am feeling stress, I look at the moon. It helps to calm me. It is my companion when I need to be alone and think. I am wearing a suit because I put up barriers. I don’t let others in. I don’t like to open up. When the conversation turns to me, I change the subject. I hide my sadness because I don’t want to burden others. Most of the time I put on a happy face and carry on as if everything is okay. The lightening bolt represents my disappointment over the life cards I was dealt when I was young. Like a lightening bolt it was an unexpected and shocking jolt. It didn’t stop me, but the effects are long lasting. The hope in my heart kept beating. It is still beating but keeping that beat going has gotten much harder.